She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
