Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
