Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
