Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
