I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
