bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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