I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
