nutella sex= disaster
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
