The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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