I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When are your genitals available?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
