Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
