Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
