I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
