I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
