am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
