This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
