cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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