Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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