Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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