This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
