I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
