Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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