well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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