im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
that may or may not have been my penis.
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