So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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