I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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