Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
