I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
