I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
