well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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