I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
