ya dads aren't the best wingmen
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
