He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
