i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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