Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
