im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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