Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize