I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Congratulations! We have a period
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
