Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
