I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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