I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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