I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
