Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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