No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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