I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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