the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
