After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
