you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
should my penis look like a turkey
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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