You're so nebulous sometimes
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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