so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
