so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
