It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Someone shattered a urinal.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
